Avocado Toast Three Ways

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Note: This post is best served with a small-batch craft IPA and a healthy understanding of sarcasm.

Like any good, self-respecting millennial, I am obsessed with avocado toast. After figuring out the trick to keeping avocados fresh for a few weeks at a time (the fridge, you fool!), I took it upon myself to end every Wegman’s trip with enough unripe organic avocados to shame even the most dedicated of Portland hipsters. What can I say? I’m a woman of taste, and that taste revolves almost entirely around mushy green superfoods. Breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, or a midnight snack–if there’s a slice of bread and half of one of Mexico’s greatest agriculture contributions to the modern world rolling around in plastic wrap (I know, not the most environmentally friendly; I really need to get some of that cool beeswax paper), I’ll have my hands on a slice of avo-toast the minute hunger hits.

One of the best things about avocado toast–like all bread-based, sandwich-adjacent foods–is its unending versatility. You can literally open your fridge or pantry, stack whatever you find onto the bread/butter/avocado base, and end up with something absolutely delicious. Over the course of my whirlwind romance with The Reason Millennials Can’t Afford to Buy Homes (Fox New’s finest piece of journalism to date, for sure), I’ve indulged in everything from The Basic Bitch (simple salt and pepper, maybe a bit of lemon juice) to God’s Greatest Mistake (leftover Chinese take-out on sourdough, smothered in a runny fried egg), and every iteration I’ve devoured has been undeniably delicious. Just before sitting down to type this out, even, I took a break to feast on two slices of my current favorite combination, I Wouldn’t Put Effort Into This Even If You Paid Me (feta cheese and chipotle mayo, a bit of lime juice if I’m really feeling zesty) just to set the mood.

Truly, avocado toast has come to define the American millennial generation more than any other cultural touchstone in the last fifteen years. More controversial than Britney Spears, more despised than Twilight, more universal than the iPhone, and more uniting than the PSL (seriously–everyone loves those things), it is the stuff of legends. Every decade has a defining moment, a cornerstone that lingers beyond the test of time to become some immortal thing still playing an active role in people’s lives today, so many years after its heyday. The 1960s had The Beatles, the 1970s had high-waisted jeans, the 1980s had Super Mario Bros, the 1990s had Friends, and the early 2000’s had The Greatest American Financial Crisis Since World War II. And I believe the 2010s will be remembered for one thing and one thing alone: our Lord and Savior, avocado toast.

So, without further ado, I present three easy and delicious versions of this most blessed dish: I’m Only Dedicating Ten Minutes To My Lunch, Just A Little Bit Pretentious, and The Hangover: Part IV.

I’m Only Dedicating Ten Minutes To My Lunch

Ingredients:

  • 1 slice bread
  • butter (to toast)
  • 1/2 ripe avocado
  • 1/3 cup shredded pepperjack cheese
  • 1/4 cup diced red bell pepper
  • 1/2 tsp chili powder
  • lime juice (to taste)

Directions:

  1. In a small bowl, thoroughly mash 1/2 ripe avocado.
  2. Generously coat one side of the bread slice with butter. Place on a nonstick baking sheet and broil on LOW for 3-5 minutes, or until golden brown.
  3. Remove from oven, flip, and spread avocado on the soft/untoasted side of the bread.
  4. Top with cheese, bell pepper, and chili powder. Return to oven and broil on LOW for additional 2-4 minutes, or until cheese has melted.
  5. Garnish with lime juice and enjoy while warm.

Just A Little Bit Pretentious

Ingredients:

  • 1 slice bread
  • butter (to toast)
  • 1/2 ripe avocado
  • 1/2 cup raw, fresh spinach
  • 1/3 cup sliced mushrooms
  • 1/4 cup feta cheese
  • 2-3 tbsp balsamic vinegar
  • salt (to taste)
  • black pepper (to taste)
  • lemon juice (to taste)

Directions:

  1. In a nonstick skillet heated to medium-high, add mushrooms, spinach, balsamic vinegar, salt, and black pepper. Pan fry for 5-7 minutes, or until spinach has wilted and mushrooms have browned. Set aside.
  2. In a small bowl, thoroughly mash 1/2 ripe avocado.
  3. Generously coat one side of the bread slice with butter. Place on a nonstick baking sheet and broil on LOW for 3-5 minutes, or until golden brown.
  4. Remove from oven, flip, and spread avocado on the soft/untoasted side of the bread.
  5. Top with sauteed mushrooms/spinach, feta cheese, and lime juice. Can be enjoyed either warm or room-temperature.

The Hangover: Part IV

Ingredients:

  • 1 slice bread
  • butter (to toast)
  • 1/2 ripe avocado
  • 2-3 slices raw, thick-cut bacon
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 tbsp chipotle mayo
  • 1 tsp chipotle Tabasco sauce
  • 1/2 tsp cilantro

Directions:

  1. In a large nonstick skillet, pan fry 2-3 slices thick-cut bacon until crispy.
  2. Without removing any rendered bacon fat from the pan (no matter how much is left; Kirkland Signature usually yields about 1/4 cup per 5 slices of bacon), crack one egg directly into the hot pan and position so that the how oil pools across the top of the whites. Fry until bubbling and crispy on the bottom, then repeat with the second egg.
  3. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, thoroughly mash 1/2 ripe avocado.
  4. Generously coat one side of the bread slice with butter. Place on a nonstick baking sheet and broil on LOW for 3-5 minutes, or until golden brown.
  5. Remove from oven, flip, and spread avocado on the soft/untoasted side of the bread.
  6. Top with bacon, fried eggs, chipotle mayo, hot sauce, and cilantro. Serve immediately, while eggs are still hot. (Best eaten with a knife and fork.)

Avocado Toast: I’m Only Dedicating Ten Minutes To My Lunch

Prep Time2 mins
Cook Time8 mins
Total Time10 mins
Servings: 1 toast

Ingredients

  • 1 slice bread
  • butter to toast
  • 1/2 ripe avocado
  • 1/3 cup shredded pepperjack cheese
  • 1/4 cup diced red bell pepper
  • 1/2 tsp chili powder
  • lime juice to taste

Instructions

  • In a small bowl, thoroughly mash 1/2 ripe avocado.
  • Generously coat one side of the bread slice with butter. Place on a nonstick baking sheet and broil on LOW for 3-5 minutes, or until golden brown.
  • Remove from oven, flip, and spread avocado on the soft/untoasted side of the bread.
  • Top with cheese, bell pepper, and chili powder. Return to oven and broil on LOW for additional 2-4 minutes, or until cheese has melted.
  • Garnish with lime juice and enjoy while warm.

Avocado Toast: Just A Little Bit Pretentious

Prep Time5 mins
Cook Time15 mins
Total Time20 mins
Servings: 1 toast

Ingredients

  • 1 slice bread
  • butter to toast
  • 1/2 ripe avocado
  • 1/2 cup raw fresh spinach
  • 1/3 cup sliced mushrooms
  • 1/4 cup feta cheese
  • 2-3 tbsp balsamic vinegar
  • salt to taste
  • black pepper to taste
  • lemon juice to taste

Instructions

  • In a nonstick skillet heated to medium-high, add mushrooms, spinach, balsamic vinegar, salt, and black pepper. Pan fry for 5-7 minutes, or until spinach has wilted and mushrooms have browned. Set aside.
  • In a small bowl, thoroughly mash 1/2 ripe avocado.
  • Generously coat one side of the bread slice with butter. Place on a nonstick baking sheet and broil on LOW for 3-5 minutes, or until golden brown.
  • Remove from oven, flip, and spread avocado on the soft/untoasted side of the bread.
  • Top with sauteed mushrooms/spinach, feta cheese, and lime juice. Can be enjoyed either warm or room-temperature.

Avocado Toast: The Hangover: Part IV

Prep Time5 mins
Cook Time20 mins
Total Time25 mins
Servings: 1 toast

Ingredients

  • 1 slice bread
  • butter to toast
  • 1/2 ripe avocado
  • 2-3 slices raw thick-cut bacon
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 tbsp chipotle mayo
  • 1 tsp chipotle Tabasco sauce
  • 1/2 tsp cilantro

Instructions

  • In a large nonstick skillet, pan fry 2-3 slices thick-cut bacon until crispy.
  • Without removing any rendered bacon fat from the pan*, crack one egg directly into the hot pan and position so that the how oil pools across the top of the whites. Fry until bubbling and crispy on the bottom, then repeat with the second egg.
  • Meanwhile, in a small bowl, thoroughly mash 1/2 ripe avocado.
  • Generously coat one side of the bread slice with butter. Place on a nonstick baking sheet and broil on LOW for 3-5 minutes, or until golden brown.
  • Remove from oven, flip, and spread avocado on the soft/untoasted side of the bread.
  • Top with bacon, fried eggs, chipotle mayo, hot sauce, and cilantro. Serve immediately, while eggs are still hot. (Best eaten with a knife and fork.)

Notes

*No matter how much is left; Kirkland Signature usually yields about 1/4 cup per 5 slices of bacon.
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